It can't be October. I mean, it just can't. How is that even possible?
I'm getting ready to start my 33rd year of life next month (in other words, I'm turning 32), and so far, the thrilling 30s have been anything BUT thrilling. More like, kicked in the teeth, knocked flat to the ground, and then made fun of for having a big butt 30s.
Lately I've been experiencing some health problems that just won't let up, so I decided to bite the bullet, and visit the doctor. And then HE decided to run some blood tests on me, and the blood tests then decided to give all of us the middle finger. I have a follow-up scheduled in a couple weeks, as well as a couple 'specialist' appointments coming up, and well I can't say I'm very happy about it all.
I don't know what happened, honestly. 29 was so great. I had so much energy, so much ambition. I mean, it's not like sunshine was shining out of my arse every second of every day, but I just generally felt...good. I got remarried toward the tail end of 29, in September, and I remember thinking how GREAT everything was going. I was young, healthy, and I just married a young, healthy guy who was ready to take on the world with me.
And then 30 came around the corner, said, "Oh yeah?" and gave me the biggest wedgie of my life.
All of sudden, getting out of bed in the morning got hard. And I couldn't eat like I used to...spicy foods started organizing their own laser light show and pyrotechnics in my gut. And then, talking got hard...I started forgetting simple things, like people's names I had just met or what I was doing in a room right after I walked into it.
Know what else I got in my 30s? CARPAL TUNNEL. I was just sitting at my computer, working, when this shooting pain starts up my left arm and I literally thought for a split second that I was having a stroke until I noticed that my wrist was starting to get unusually crunchy.
You should have seen the look the doctor gave me when I was describing how it felt, like I was describing a new flavor of Doritos instead of the mystery pain in my wrist. "On a scale of 1 to 10, how crunchy would you say your wrist is?" "Um, somewhere just above Cool Ranch."
So, I don't know what the heck happened. All I know is it's way past my bedtime and where on earth did I put my Tums?
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