They even charge for pictures and autographs, too.

Hubby and I currently live in a third world country, but are contemplating and preparing for a move back to the United States fairly soon. Our reasons for such a move are many, one of which being my tummy. Since this is a third world country, there are the occasional critters such as amoebas and parasites that you can accidentally consume from your food, no matter how careful you may be or that your second-highest bill is BLEACH. BLEACH EVERYTHING. AHHHHH.

Aherm.

The reason for my psychotic earnest interest in this is because the little critters in this country haven't been so nice to me. While my husband can practically drink the tap water here, with a slight growl from his innards being the only reciprocation for such a heinous act, sometimes it feels like if I so much as LOOK in the direction of some "street" food sold here, my intestines start having seizures while simultaneously doing back-flips and breathing fire.

I considered having my intestines join the circus with their obvious talent for such things, but the ring master took one look at them and said, "Can they also walk the tightrope?" And that's when my intestines stormed out shouting something about not appreciating great talent and demanding a double-shot latte with hazelnut foam, because THAT IS HOW MY INTESTINES ARE. DRAMATIC.

Let's put it this way...while I live in the land that is nicknamed "Volcano Alley", the only active volcano I've experienced lately is the one coming from my rear end. Mount St. Helens ain't got nothing on THIS.

Thought you'd get to have a cocktail or a little dinner with me first before getting to know me this intimately, did you?

Sorry, I'd love to, but my intestines are on the phone with their agent, and well, it's not you, IT'S THEM.

So, you got any disgusting interesting information you'd like to blast into the black hole of the Internet?

Gives a casual wave.

Yea, I know.

Six years is a long time between posts.

But, hey! Good news! This means I'm not dead, as I'm sure some (if there are any left) of the readers of this blog no doubt suspected by now.

The headline would have been fantastic, though...

FORMER BLOGGER STABBED IN THE BACK BY LIFE

It would have made amazing fodder for a documentary, wouldn't it? Or at least a solid case for a lineup on 20/20.

Wait, is 20/20 even around anymore? In my defense, I have a legit reason for not knowing that, I swear. And it has nothing to do with homicide. (Now there's a sentence for you.)

Ok, let me 'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

---Princess Bride quotes? Anyone? ....No? *sigh*---

My story of what's happened over the last six years is way too long to tell, but it warranted me hiding the previous posts from this blog. I debated back and forth whether or not to keep them up here, for content's sake, until I started seriously reading through some of them, and realized...they're all about a life I don't have anymore. They're chock full of tales of a husband that is now divorced (and remarried, for that matter), a dog that is no longer mine, and a home that I no longer live in.

I live in Quito, Ecuador now. Yup. I volunteer here, though my efforts in that arena are soon to come to an end, as my husband and I are planning on moving back to the States sometime next year.

Yes, my husband. (SORRY, I know there's a lot to catch up on...like I said, DOCUMENTARY MATERIAL I AM.) I too got remarried - what, you think my ex is the only one sanctioned for that privilege? I actually met Brent here in Ecuador, a fellow foreigner volunteering. He makes me very very happy, and we are coming up on our one year anniversary this weekend.

Well there you have it, in a nutshell. A very, very tiny, microscopic nutshell, but a nutshell nonetheless. In all honesty, I figured I had three choices when it came to this blog: 1.) Shut it down completely, and start up a new one. 2.) Drink several margaritas while blubbering into my keyboard as I read about times gone long, long by. 3.) Do what I do best...Start over with a clean, fresh start, and continue to laugh all along the way. (I guess the margaritas can come along on that venture too.)

I think I'll go with option 3. What do you think?