Post divorce post

I never pretended to know what I was doing.

Good thing I didn't. Because aw hell.

Three years ago, if you had told me I'd be sitting down to write this with now two divorces under my belt, I would have thrown. UP.

Who wants that as a bragging right? 'Oh yeah? So you climbed the Himalayas and met The Yeti? That's nothing. I'm under 40 and have already been married to two psychopaths AND been divorced twice.' Yeah. Beat that.

Never did I want to be staring down the latter half of my 30s single with two dogs and no boyfriend. The 16 year old version of me would slap me for all the stupid decisions I've made thus far, I just know it.

How do you describe the intensity of knowing you've been abandoned twice? There are no words that can define that cracked and splintered state of your heart which no amount of healing can fix.

So you just take one day at a time. Pick yourself back up off the floor. Realize that while NO, this too will NOT necessarily pass, you still must live. And breathe.

Gives a casual wave.

Yea, I know.

Six years is a long time between posts.

But, hey! Good news! This means I'm not dead, as I'm sure some (if there are any left) of the readers of this blog no doubt suspected by now.

The headline would have been fantastic, though...

FORMER BLOGGER STABBED IN THE BACK BY LIFE

It would have made amazing fodder for a documentary, wouldn't it? Or at least a solid case for a lineup on 20/20.

Wait, is 20/20 even around anymore? In my defense, I have a legit reason for not knowing that, I swear. And it has nothing to do with homicide. (Now there's a sentence for you.)

Ok, let me 'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

---Princess Bride quotes? Anyone? ....No? *sigh*---

My story of what's happened over the last six years is way too long to tell, but it warranted me hiding the previous posts from this blog. I debated back and forth whether or not to keep them up here, for content's sake, until I started seriously reading through some of them, and realized...they're all about a life I don't have anymore. They're chock full of tales of a husband that is now divorced (and remarried, for that matter), a dog that is no longer mine, and a home that I no longer live in.

I live in Quito, Ecuador now. Yup. I volunteer here, though my efforts in that arena are soon to come to an end, as my husband and I are planning on moving back to the States sometime next year.

Yes, my husband. (SORRY, I know there's a lot to catch up on...like I said, DOCUMENTARY MATERIAL I AM.) I too got remarried - what, you think my ex is the only one sanctioned for that privilege? I actually met Brent here in Ecuador, a fellow foreigner volunteering. He makes me very very happy, and we are coming up on our one year anniversary this weekend.

Well there you have it, in a nutshell. A very, very tiny, microscopic nutshell, but a nutshell nonetheless. In all honesty, I figured I had three choices when it came to this blog: 1.) Shut it down completely, and start up a new one. 2.) Drink several margaritas while blubbering into my keyboard as I read about times gone long, long by. 3.) Do what I do best...Start over with a clean, fresh start, and continue to laugh all along the way. (I guess the margaritas can come along on that venture too.)

I think I'll go with option 3. What do you think?